I accidentally had phone sex last night
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
