He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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