how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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