id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
