Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
