call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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