Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
