Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
