I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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