im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize