I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
