is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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