Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
