And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
