its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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