i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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