Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
