her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
