just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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