using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
