Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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