PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
