got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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