just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
