thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
