I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
