i just google imaged poop.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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