If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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