is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
