I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
