I'm lost and stupid without you.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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