So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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