there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
