You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
