A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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