my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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