He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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