Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Randomize
