You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
