I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
should my penis look like a turkey
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
