i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
