we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
In America we eat man semen.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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