I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize