I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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