apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
