My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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