she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
