I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
ttyl tear gas
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
