I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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