im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
