I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
