Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
