That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize