Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
