Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize