he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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