Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I am available for nakedness
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
