Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
