I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
