Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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