Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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