We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
