SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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