in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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