I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
