Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
