I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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