I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
