check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
