Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
