I am in a vortex of obligation.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Someone shattered a urinal.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
