I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
There r osticjed everywhere
ttyl tear gas
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
